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This Amazing Life
I'm Jessie<333 Hey man. So I'm a pretty normal kid! Like your favorite ;; What can I say?I love Running. Flute, Summer., Six packs., Exercise. Caesar salads., Laughing., People., My team. Fashion. Music. . My favorite celebs-actors-actresses areee Rachel Bilson. Nicole Richie. Keira Knightley. Johnny Depp. Orlando Bloom. Willa Holland. Adam Brody. Angelina Jolie. Rachel McAdams., Jennifer Aniston., BEN STILLER AND OWEN WILSON!!! HILARIOUS!!!, Theres so much music I like... OK go.Postal Service.FRANZ FERDINAND. Jimmi Hendrix.The Beatles. Monkees.Christina Aguilera.Led Zeppilin.Gwen Stefani.Black Eyed Peas.Fergie.Pussycat Dolls.Death Cab for Cutie.Queen.Youth Group.The Hush Sound.Modest Mouse.The Mars Volta.The Killers.Beyonce.All American Rejects.Fall Out Boy.The Veronicas.and sooo many others that I can't even remember! I love Abercrombie. Hollister. +American Eagle. Coach. Vince. Antropology.anything from Urban Outfitters Old Navy flipflops. Juicy Couture. j.crew Banana Republic DKNY There are too many designers to name... Balenciaga.Marc Jacobs.Paul Smith.Adam+Eve.Aquamarine.GEORGIO ARMANI.oscar de la renta.Karl Lagerfield.Alessa.Animale.Antonio Berardi.Aquascutum.Bagdely Mischka.Behnaz Sarapfour.Bill Blass.Bottega Venetta.Burberry.Biba.Cantao.Carolina Herrerra.Catherine Maladrino.Chado Ralph Rucci.Chanel.Chloe.D&G.Ellie Saab.Emma Cook.Emilio Pucci.Etro.Fendi.Gucci.Givenchy.Giles Deacon.Jean Paul Gaultier.Jill Stuart.Jonathan Saunders.Kenneth Cole.Lanvin.Luella Caroline. Malandrino.Mara Mac.Marni.Maria Bonita Extra.Michael Kors.Missoni.Miu Miu.Moschino.Peter Som.Preen.Pucci.Ralph Lauren.Stella McCartney.3.1 Phillip Lim.Temperley.Trovata.Valentino.Vera Wang.Versace.Viktor&Rolf.Y-3.YSL.Zac Posen.Lacoste too<3 My favorite TV shows aree Scrubs The OC Malcom in the Middle Simpsons bold, My favorite movies are ZOOLANDER. underline Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. The Notebook. Wedding Crashers. Mean Girls. The Notebook. Pirates of the Carribean. Lord of the Ring. Harry Potter. The Shining. The Devil Wears Prada. The Matrix. High School Musical.SIN CITY. Aliens. Legally Blonde. You,me,and Dupree. Team America. Mr.andMrs. Smith. X-Men. little miss sunshine..lolll
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Hey guys! So this is my fabulous put blog! Lucky you! You get to Experience my life. Yeah, it's not as exciting as some people's life. ©
But I love it. I might end up doing more fashion posts than anything else., But I will update pretttty much everday :) box ©
So people should definitely suscribe and comment and things like that. I'm not going to get into xanga drama, and I won't threaten to shut down or not post because people won't suscribe. I don't care if others do., But I won't. Yeah man!! Chec Republic!!!yeahhhh! box ©
To-Do List
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clean room
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Things to Buy
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Stila On the go set 30$
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Peach Lip gloss
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Abercrombie shorts
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brown eyelit
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green dolphin shorts
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pink plaid short shorts
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green striped short shorts
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Moose dolphin shorts
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pink dolphin shorts
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Mascara
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Clinique Exfoliator
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self tanner
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Abercrombie or Hollister button downs 39$
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Green
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Blue
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Pink
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White
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Abercrombie Plaid shorts 34$
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Skinnies (even more) 40$
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Levis 40$
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Cackys 35$
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Mini 40$
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Burberry Scarf
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grey peacoat
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long necklaces
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Gap Ballet flats 30$
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Croc ballet flats 30$
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Rain Coat
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V neck Sweaters
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Pink
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Orange
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White
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Red
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colorful tank
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Rugby shirt
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More cute tennies
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Coach bag :)
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a job
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Ipod case that fits
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Quotes
Quotes. I love quotes. 'And then I became.Bulimic...''YOU CAN READ MINDS' Life is a bitch. Well done is better than well said. I am only one, But still I am one.I cannot do everything,but still I can do something;and because I cannot do everything.I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. Impossible is nothing. Just do it. at Derek Zoolander center for kids who can't read good. Just because we have chizzled abs and stunning features doesn't mean that we can't die in a freak gasoline accident. Hey derek, wanna join a sex party?''I can't, I have a lot to ponder' wetness is the essence of moisture, and moisture is the essence of water. MERMAN..MERMAN! I'm as straight as a telephone pole. Life is what you make Just a ride sometimes you're up sometimes you're down. Just when you think you have control, just when you think you gotta go, that's when you just gotta go,here it goes there it goes there it goes again. put those boots back on and run. 'if you could get a tatoo, what would it be of?''penis' is butter a carb? yessss. Let's get some shoes. be 'It's a magical leopluradon''okay guys, you know theres no actual candy mountain right?' 'shun the non believer' 'yeah,shun' 'shun' 'shhhhuuuuuuunnnnn' and where is your grandpa? in the back of our car. shitt sonnnn 'hey can you tone down the swearing? there are ladies in here.' 'there are ladies everywhere ya dumbass!. why's the rum gone? fashion bug?! who the hell named it that?! BALLS!Let's get these teen hearts beating faster faster. oh hey the aliens gone (in alien after the alien had been gone for about 5 minutes) oh sugar, you just made the dumbest mistake. lardy tardy what language are they speaking? english. oh. 'yeah mannnnn''did you just say yemen?' 'oh yeah.i just go around saying random country names. DOMINICAN REPUBLIC!''YUGOSLAVIA' chocolate. fiscal responsibility dear fruits, you suck. damn, they took my kidney!. gee wiz guys! lets fade away. i am unwritten, the pens in my hand here im a bomb.beware if you turn me on. i have no safety switch. lets get retarded. lets get retarded in here. everything looks better from such great heights come down now. I still got the nasty in me I'm feeling yummy head to toe.... beautiful boys on a beautiful dance floor michael you're dancing like a beautiful dance floor now wouldn't that be sweet. yeah man!
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Name: Jessie
Gender: Female
Interests: R U N N I N G<3 flute<3 exercising<3 friends<3 my school<3
Expertise: um. stuff
Occupation: student. and i love it<3
Industry: I want to go into medicine
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
12/30/2006
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| So my parents know the manager of Safeway!!! ALLELULAHHHHH
And they talked to him and he said apply online and tell him when I do
HELLS YEAH!
So I probably pretty much have a job when I come back :)))))))) YEAH MANNN!
And Safeway pays time and a half on Sundays, so that's like11 bucks an hour, with tax
about 10. But if I could get a nice shift on Sundays I could probably make 100 a week :)
Equalling 200 spending. Then PLUS money from relatives and all that stuff !! I could save
up 15 bucks month (allowance) + the 400 average I get for Christmas and Birthday combined
on just random things, or shopping sprees :). And my madre says if I win this flute competition she'll
give me 500 bucks, and if I possibly place in state for flute she will let me get all driving privaleges
when we get the smart car! heaven. I just need to practice like caraazyyy. man, what a nerd....
lolll. I love how my mom gets me to practice by bribery. My whole family knows I can ALWAYS
be bought. For example, my dad wanted me to get this HPV shot and I was like NO! I am not sexually
active so I don't need it! I willNOT get two shots in a day. And so he said "how's 30 sound?".
Then I said "40" Then he said "30 or nothing" So I took the thirty :)
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| So for this is my fifth day of the South Beach phase one and I am feeling GREAT!
I've actually been succeeding!! Yeah go me! I have to write in a diary and read
this binge no more and breaking free from ed every morning or else I binge though,
but I'm getting better :)
So my dog died yesterday. It was so sad. And weird. She
was a really strange dog, she was deaf and white, which means that
her parents were not meant to be mated together (you're not supposed
to mate two white dogs together-it creates deafness). She basically followed
my dad home one day. And I made my dad take her in because it was rainy,
we finally got custody of her. But it was strange, she would always have these
bizarre pouncing patterns. She'd run from one end of the house to the other end,
and pounce, or go in a circle around all the rooms and pounce at one corner. It was
near impossible to stop her, like she was in a trance. But we thought she was just a
weird dog. Then she started getting aggressive, she snapped at my dad's friend, very
unusual, because he was tall (dominant feature) and was very nice to her. And she
would growl at me when I touched her. But that morning she was going especially
crazy. She was totally unstoppable. She was going from one end of the house to the other
end pouncing on two couches, big couches mind you, she was so forcefull that the couches
moved a few feet. But then when the mailman came at like 3, she was barking like normal,
and my dad went down to calm her and the other dogs down. Then she fell down and started
shaking (seizure) and then she died, I got down right when she died.
It's so weird, but we did research on dog epilepsy and I guess
a common sympton of it is that their senses are altered, and they aren't
themselves, and they will become obsessed with repetitive simple movements (ie the
pouncing) and they will become aggressive.
I'm so sad.. I don't know what to think, and I should be more sad.
I kind of knew something like this would happen. I think everyone did,
my brother guessed it before he even knew, my dad called him and told him
to come home from work quickly, and he thought, either we're going out
to dinner or Erin died. And Erin died.
On a happier note. I'm going to China tomorrow! Crazy much??
I know fakes are baddd, but I seriously am going to try to find some
really GOOD fakes. Of fendi...lol, I'm such a loser.
And after I get back I'm getting a job. Things to buy after I get a job!
But I made a promise that I would save 200 a month for college. But that's fine,
I think I will save up 100 bucks a month for later shopping. :)
I'm planning to work 15 hour weeks. If I do that...then I'll be making...about
380 a month...That's my goal...But if you add in allowance 15$ a month.
Plus Christmas and B-day money..That adds up to about 400$, so maybe
I can go on a shopping spree with my Christmas and B-day money ;)
+fucking shopping spree at Nordstroms 600$
+shopping spree at Abercrombie-Hollister 400$
+shopping spree at Urban Outfitters 400$
+I want to try out thrift shopping 50$
+TRUE RELIGION JEANS!!! 106$
+real balenciaga bag...droooolllll will be in quite a while 1000$
+something marc by marc jacobs...ahhhhh :))) 300$
+gameboy color with Sabrina and Mario 30$
+The OC all four seasons <3 200$
+SCRUBS!!!!! best show EVAHHHH 240$
+heroes 50$
+So you think you can dance..I fucking love that show!
the possiblilities are endlessss
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| so I did do badly yesterday effing peanuts messed me up.
But today I am doing VERY well, and I will NOT fuck it up :).
I am starting the South beach over today.
So I went to the doctors office, and he was all giving me a hard time
about being 2 pounds underweight. I'm not even kidding. I get
really skinny when I follow what my stomach tells me (that's when I
lost ten pounds) and I gained it back from binging every single day and
NOT burning or purging it off. I wonder what he would've said if I had come in
before I started binging, when I weighed 90 pounds (I'm 4'11") So if I'm still underweight by doing that,
then maybe just maybe I'm a naturally really thin girl. Hmm, ohhh no. Nobodysss
naturally more thin than the standard. Nope, especially not a long distance runner
who has ridiclously tiny bones. Sarcasmmm
And I am about 10 pounds heavier than the comfortable weight for me.
And no I am not anorexic and I honestly think that look doesn't look good.
But I feel most healthy at a thin frame, not even close to anorexic. But in the
doctors mind..of course. Even my mom thinks its bullshizz. So she was like,
next appointment, I'm getting you lots of those sparkling water drinks you love so you
can fake it, and put heavy things in your pockets.
Lol, I love my mom. But he was being pretty ridiculous. There is honestly no
chance of me being anorexic, so he doesn't have to worry.
1.I don't like that look
2. I love food
3. My problem is binging, but somehow I think he thinks I'm lying about it.
But my dietician understands. She's a lot more leniant, she says this is your
ideal weight...take or add 10 pounds. So that's nice :)
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| So I did end up binging yesterday. I let my gaurd down, and "Ed" came in.
Lol I sound like a crazy person, but whatever works.
But today I am doing well so far. I love Monday mornings
it's like a fresh start! But now the South Beach will be going into
China, but that's fine. Chinese food is mostly meat and veggies anyways.
I'll just not eat rice. Plus the first day or so is all traveling.
And I'm so adventurous with the meats and veggies I am willing to
eat that they won't really notice that I am not eating rice. I think my
cousins on some diet too, because on my b-day when I said "I'm not
eating rice today because we'll be eating sooo much rice in China" as a cover up
she said, "I'm not eating the rice, just meat and veggies".
Hmm, and she and her mom were having a contest for how long they could make
one chip last. Talk about good dieting support. I have great support, but I
wish my mom could make contests like that for me and her.
So I'm really scared, I have a doctor appointment today. And last time I saw him
it was under a similar circumstance, I had been binging. But after that I turned it around
and lost ten pounds, but then I gained it back recently. So I don't want to have that
I weigh the same two times in a row, because he thinks the bigger the healthier, but in
reality, for me I am naturally a thin person. When I eat when I am hungry and until
I am full, I am very thin.
For breakfast I ate peanuts and walnuts.
For lunch I will wait till I am hungry and I will eat a vegetable omelet.
Then for dinner I will try to cook meat or have some yogurt.
Today I am going to do well, I have control over my body, not Ed.
Whenever I think "ohhh that cakeee" I'm making myself sit in this chair and think that.
Then I go onto another chair and just say "I'm not hungry, shut up.."
Sounds retarded, but it seriously works. For me at least, some people
choose to go with more mature cures :).
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| So I've been going through a very hard time lately.
I've started seeing a dietician because I'm so out of control.
I have a very bad binging disorder. And no, I don't purge or
excercise it off. So of course I gain weight with it. My parents
(including my dad who always fears I am anorexic) saw how much I've
been eating so they put me on the South Beach Diet. I'm so proud I've
gone three days without binging and eating carbs/sugars. The point
of the diet is to get rid of the cravings. And I cannot control myself when
I have such bad cravings.
Let me just give you an idea. You know those tubs..(the big ones) of
peanut butter. I ate half of one in one day!
I ate a whole can of frosting plus way more in 2 days.
I'm lucky I've only gained 10 pounds.
But I'm so excited, over the past three days I've already lost 2,
and I feel so much better and more comfortable. When I sit I don't
feel my stomach.
Also my dietician gave me an AMAZING book.
It's called
"Life Without Ed".
It's about seperating your eating disorder from yourself.
In the book the woman "divorces" Ed, or her eating disorder.
It helps you categorize your thoughts into Ed, or you.
For example.
"you WANT this cake, it looks amazing, you've already overeaten 200 calories,
why not make it a binge. Look at those cookies, look at the cereal...mmm yum,
you can just eat lunch now", or "Just one little bite ie. 2000 calories"-Ed
"No, I'm not hungry..go fuck yourself. I'm going to WAIT till lunch. I don't want
to waste all the good work I've done, it'll just make me angry and fat. And I don't
like that. I WANT TO GET BETTER"
It sounds crazy but for anyone suffering from a serious eating disorder, this book is
for you. The writer has binge-purge syndrome. A LOT different from my problem
but it's still VERY helpful. I actually know that I can beat this problem. And next time
I feel I'm skinny so it's ok to binge (the reason I relapsed) I will NOT binge. If I feel I
NEED to gain weight I will gain weight off of straight liver, or something I hate.
The South beach diet is doing miracles too, today I resisted a VERY strong urge for the
deserts in our house
2 fresh baked cakes-one chocolate one yellow
frosting
cookies
chocolate
m&ms
rice (not a desert but I can't eat it)
3 ice cream things
german chocolate cake
bread
candied coconut
candied fresh cherries
But I resisted, I even dreamt I binged and I was so scared,
probably because under normal circumstances I would binge.
Yeah, a lot of my energy is going towards fixing my problem.
And I can't wait till I don't even have to worry about binging,
where I can look at a food and say "I don't want it because I'm
not hungry"
Honestly this takes a lot of determination, but I will become obese, literally
if I don't stop. My dietician even said so, and my parents.
I'm excited though :))
I'm so glad, I have my brother, mom, and dietician to support me!
I want friends to support me, but I'm to scared to tell my friends,
so hopefully I'll find some people here. I like it because you don't get
embarrassed because it's not in person, I need all the support I can get!
MY BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY BY THE WAY :)))
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